Talk Derby to Me

I finally know how girls who don't understand football feel when their boyfriends make them watch a game.

I went to my first roller derby bout Saturday night. The Lowcountry Highrollers skated innumerable times around a makeshift rink in the Citadel's McAlister Field House, and of those laps, not once did I figure out more than: it's really good when the girls in the back pass the girls in the front.

After speaking to the crowd, I was assured I wasn't the only slow-learner. I walked away knowing these couple things, though:
1. Green-eyed Sniper is a "jammer", and she scores points by passing people.
2. Black and pink is a pretty intimidating color combination. Especially on Vulva Display of Power.

"When we laced up, I was ready to battle," said Sexual Chocolate. The girls of the Lowcountry Highrollers worked well together as a team, creating three-woman walls to block opponents and grabbing onto each other to propel themselves forward. According to Lucille Balls to the Wall, "A lot of derby is about strategy and being aware of what is happening with each jam. You can't just muscle your way through the pack. As a jammer, you are a target, and you need some really stable and smart blockers doing their thing to get you past the opposing team."

I can't really tell you anything about tactics--unless you count the intimidation factor, of course, which was present in full-force--but I can tell you a little something about this:




No girl ever wants to have to say she can't hang out on a Saturday night because she has to go watch her boyfriend "breakskate."

The score was close at the beginning of the second half, but shortly thereafter the NRV Bruisin' Burgs pulled ahead. According to Sexual Chocolate, "We were shell-shocked when one of their jammers scored a 30 point lead on us. But we worked together to try and close the gap. Our awesome jammers Sniper, Tropikally Punch, Red Dread, and Tranquiliza gave it their all. We were very close to catching up, but the NRV ladies held their lead."

The final score was 106, Highrollers to 166, Burgs.

After the bout, the crowd headed to the Music Farm for the official after party and bluegrass-y Dangermuffin's CD release show.

The derby girls gave out awards in between the opening band--who sounded a lot like the Punch Brothers--and Dangermuffin. Catty Colamean won the Highrollers award for having the "most class while kicking ass."

The connecting power of music was tangible in the old warehouse--who'd have ever thought fishnets and flannel have the same taste in music?